|A pond near my parents' place. Nice spot to sit down for a minute, feed the ducks and think|
It's 40C in the sun today. Poland became a tropical country this summer. The temperatures have barely ever gone lower than 25C since June and recently fluctuate around 30C-37C. It certainly feels like I've received a decent dose of vitamin D to last me for a long while.
Although I am here out of necessity it is a wonderful occasion to spen
d time with my family. I haven't been around them for any consecutive length of time since 2003 so let's just call it a massive silver lining! Life is such an up and down curve that you've got to appreciate everything good that happens and cherish every minute.
You might think that maintaining a positive attitude when things are not going as we would wish is the most difficult task but from my experience this is not the case. It seems to me that the more I lose, the more troubles I have, the more determined I am to keep hold of my attitude. At times, it's the only thing we can control when other events and life's happenings carry on. The difficult bit is the constant questioning of own actions, the anxiety and uncertainty which can be overwhelming.
Oddly, I have some pathological need to try to help others improve, succeed, achieve. I came to conclusion that if I shaved off the failures from the book, it would just be some look-at-my-great-luck self-publication which would be neither helpful nor would I identify with it.
I wrote a first version of the introduction to the book too and I might share it on here at some point just to see if I am brave enough to post it ;) As I am sure you too notice that generally not many people write about their failures for the simple reason that they are afraid of disrespect. If you honestly share the lows of your career you might come across as a loser so I do wonder if I am not shooting myself doing this.
In present time I continue to search for a yard base (details here) for myself to freelance at and to run Aspire's coaching from. The process will certainly make for some amusing chapters in my little blog-book. Every day I try to find places that might be suitable and get in touch. The responses are varied, let me tell you!
Some people never call back, some never reply, some just say no thank you, some are interested but don't have the capacity to accommodate my idea, some go to some pleasant lengths telling me to... just buy my own yard if I want to have the benefit of one...I do wonder if they treat their clients the same way as job enquirers.
On the days when I get an arrogant, thoughtless reply I think of how many times Harry Potter manuscript was rejected before it made onto the No 1 Bestsellers list ;)
I should probably say I am very outgoing and love cold calling but unfortunately I'm generally a shy person if I don't know someone so contacting all these yards just like that is not such an easy task. On good days, the cheeky replies have zero effect on me and I just plough on but on others they are of course disheartening, I dwell on them too much and they can drag me down.
Thankfully, I also have a restless drive inside me that pushes me on and tells me to learn from each encounter and put it behind me. Another thing that pushes me on is support from total strangers, fellow bloggers, riders and friends who would love to see the Aspire project finding a place to thrive at so huge thank you goes out to all of you!
Until next ramble!