Vet visit today - it's not better, it's worse

I must say I didn't think we would be given good news today. The last time I walked Kingsley he just started feeling uneven and rigid again towards the end of the 30 minute hack and I decided that it was best to wait till today with riding him more.

And in fact there was no good news. However, I was quite shocked to find out he actually got worse than he was back in April. He was lame in walk and trot on the hard on straight line. Very lame. Nodding lame.

We then lunged in the arena on a all weather rubber track and his trot on a circle was the worst I have ever seen him. I kept pushing him on on vet's request but to be honest it was painful to watch.

On the left rein his feet sequence in trot was poor and he had no desire to move forwards. On the right rein he couldn't trot at all. He moved in bunny hops like canter strides, half cantering half trotting, cutting the circle inwards to avoid any bending.

I decided there and then that even if there was any chance of any further treatment I was not riding him until I saw him trotting up sound without a rider.

As he was moving so much worse than last time in July, the vet decided to nerve block the foot again just to see if there wasn't anything else going on.

He was much better and much happier to move which indicated that primary pain source is in the left front with right front being less affected.

Having said that, he wasn't fully sound after nerve blocking.

We also looked at his X-rays from April and July and compared the changes. They showed further deterioration...

He has had one dose on Tildren IV (full body) in April, 2 sets of navicular bursea injections - one April/May and another in July, Navilox and is off work since August 2009. No improvement wouldn't be a problem. But he is so much worse :( I was really shocked to see him in trot today. The last time I lunged him was a couple of months ago and to see him moving so oddly and with such difficulty today was just so disheartening.

There remaining options are: another change of shoes...more tildren...more bute...and the most kind of all - PTS.

I would love to see him happy and perky again; he is not a content young horse right now. As many of you will know I would love to ride him everyday and would happily hang on to a possibility to do so but after today the saddle stays firmly on the rack :(

And the Good!

Onto the good and exciting parts of life!

The Academy project is still very much a project and although I've been sitting quiet with it due to my health it has brought me several new clients already.

I am working on ways of promoting it other than slapping a grand, boring advert in a magazine so stay tuned as I will share all the ins and outs.

We are now blogging on Horse and Country TV's website so please do visit and say hell0 (not sure how but perhaps you'll figure out??!). I will try to share the details of the whole project on there in form of a diary. Here is a link to my blog on there:

http://www.horseandcountry.tv/celebrity/wiola-grabowska/where-it-all-began

I've been on a mission to find some more interesting Guest Bloggers for the Academy blog and here are the new faces for you to get to know :) I hope you will enjoy reading their updates as much as I do.

In August, the Guest Bloggers include: Gary Diplock & Mind4Sport ( Gary agreed to share a great insight into Sports Psychology and importance of mental skills for ALL levels of riders) , UK Eventer Jeni Ball (Jeni runs her yard and loves to event), The Mystery Emma (who writes hilarious novel-like romance/yard drama) and US Eventer Cassidy Sitton (passionate rider, Eventer, Coach with a freelance job in advertising). Have a look at their posts on here: http://www.aspire-equestrian.com/blog/

I've also been busy trying to gather as much advice as possible from all the good will people who agreed to give it away.

Talking about good will people...one of my substantial debts was literally waved away by this amazing person and I really wish I could do more to somehow give much more back to all the extraordinary people who help me so much!

Perhaps one day.

Next month is looking exciting as I am off to watch Burghley as well as hopefully nursing myself back to health!

Pic.below: Craig and Spider (Just Ironic) - Spider is Burghley bound!

http://www.burghley-horse.co.uk/

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I suppose it's time to...

Good first or bad first?

Let's start with the bad so it's over and done with. It will be here as a separate post as I will probably delete it some time soon.

I've been delaying the update because all I wanted to write seemed unnecessarily negative and ungratefully moaney. It still is in fact. I resent it because it's just damn arrogant to complain whilst having a roof above my head, enough money for food on the table (well, most of the time anyway) and a job I love.

The truth is, I haven't been well for over a month now, if not longer, and as much as my mind and soul want to do it all, my body just can't cope :(

Some of you may remember my post from some time ago when I listed all the possible options to consider regarding a plan for the future, for riding and for the Academy project. I thought I could do it all. But I can't.

Right now, I work and work and work. There is nothing I do right now that could class as something for myself. I resent the thought as selfish but we all need this little bit of reward for all the hard work, don't we?

No matter how much you love your work and how much job satisfaction you get from it, we all need something outside of it to complete it all.

Until now, I thought the job satisfaction would do me just fine. That I don't need anything especially for myself to be happy.

Sadly I was wrong. I wish I was this altruistic person who needs no fun for herself. How much easier would that be!

There is this massive puzzle piece missing and now I know what it is: it's the riding, the purposeful riding. The lack of it makes me feel down. In the same time, although I hate to say it, I lost a lot of my enthusiasm and hope that things can change much in this department.

As much as lack of riding sends me down, my passion for the job lifts my mood up. It's one of those things when you have to chose in between two equally important aspects of life.

Either way, I suppose it's time to temporarily suspend my updates. You wouldn't want to read a monotonous list of complaints I am bound to write if I allow myself to do so.

I've taken some days off next month as my health is firmly telling me I am ruining it. Days off I can't really afford. I hope they will be of some benefit to my body as they certainly won't be to my mind.

Kingsley boy wasn't great yesterday either. I keep telling my naive self to stop getting excited every time he walks less pottery. I've been there before with Fetas and it's not worth the emotional roller-coaster. And yet, every time he seems a bit better there is new sense of hope. Only to be crashed by a melancholic state of his the next day and a shuffly, trippy walk stride. The vet is coming on Saturday morning to review him. Hopeful part of me counts on good news.

One step at a time. Sometimes it feels like going through a desert - you want to go fast as the iron hot sand burns your skin but the rule still stands - one step at a time.

Ok, enough of this overly honest moaning. It always astounds me that you can get so low in life in some areas of it and yet be on a total high in others.

Good job horses read body language and a word about Academy's Blog

For the second time in my teaching life I have landed myself with a fabulous onset of laryngitis and today, I lost my voice all together. I could croak a thing or two up to yesterday but that's just about gone too. I can whisper.

For the last few days I have started my days actually saying to myself "Voice Test" only to hear some ninety-year-old like voice coming out of my throat. Not fun.

It's not painful until you try to talk when you have a full body workout trying to blow air into your larynx and make any sounds at all.

It didn't help that I only took one day off since it happened on Sunday and the 25 hours of teaching I've done in the last three days wouldn't have helped :(

Coupled with a mild cold this lovely condition leaves me rather exhausted and I hope it goes soon! Having had a hoarse chat with a nice lady in the Pharmacy yesterday it doesn't look like I have much meds choice and the best one is REST YOUR VOICE. She gave some lozenges which taste absolutely vile - they contain liquorice which I just can't stand. However, they do help a little so I will eat some ;)

Yard work today so nice silent body language with horses and then a whispering training day for Pauline on Saturday!

Anyone has any miracle, granny style recipes for getting my voice back??

Anyway. For all those who aren't on ever reaching Facebook but do visit the Academy's new website - I would like to thank you all very much as we've had almost 3000 visits in the first week of the launch :) It's probably not much in the grand scheme of virtual reality but it's good few for me and I am really happy someo

ne enjoys the site.

If you haven't noticed already, I've started a new blog on there which is going to hopefully be educational, inspiring and a bit different to this one. The Academy blog is based on a Guest Blogger basis so apart from myself and other Team members blogging I also invited numerous riders to share their experiences with everybody.

So far, we can follow the riding life of:

Casey Stickland

A sixteen year old rider from Australia who moved continents to pursue her Dressage dream. She is now based at Talland School of Equitation in Gloucestershire, UK. Casey blogs about her journey to become an International Dressage rider, the training and some great advice from her own lessons.

Well worth a read!

She is now at Summer Regionals at Addington as I type and will blog about her experience of it when she comes back. To read Casey's blog on Academy's site go to http://www.aspire-equestrian.com/blog/guest-blogger-casey-stickland/

Pippa Allan...

I met Pippa at Barnfield Riding School in 2007 and she rode with me for 3 years before deciding she wanted to try something fast & furious. Also sixteen, Pippa went to British Racing School in March this year to do the 9 weeks long Foundation course. She described it as the best time of her life! She is now working on a flat racing yard in Epsom but has some exciting plans worth following. She has a rather rough writing style which I decided to leave as it was (mostly!) because it adds authenticity and suits her well ;) http://www.aspire-equestrian.com/blog/guest-blogger-pippa-allan/

Candace Potempa

Candace is a delightful personality and a great friend of mine. Unfortunately, she lives rather far away - Chicago, Illinois, US! Candy works full-time and has recently bought her very first horse. She is show-jumping mad and has some wonderful experiences to share while she goes through the ranks with her mare, Flirt. http://www.aspire-equestrian.com/blog/guest-blogger-candace-potempa/

Some more great Guest Bloggers in the pipeline as well as some of Academy's Team members blogging about their training, teaching and competing: http://www.aspire-equestrian.com/blog/

If you like it, please help us spread the word about the Academy. Post a link to us, Become a Fan on our Facebook Page or click 'Like' button. Everything to do with promoting the Academy is done on a shoestring and it is only possible thanks to amazing help from some extraordinary people. I will tell you all about what we do to get the Academy out there very soon!

I'm back on the roads!

For now that is. Wiola let me update you on my life as I am such a multi talent - she says I am just perfect at avoiding being a riding horse. That's fine by me. I mean, everybody got to be perfect at something, right?

Mr Vet came on Thursday and decided there was an improvement in my way of going. Of course it was. I have it all figured out. See, my Mum and Aunt would never EVER put me down if I get even wee bit better. Granted, if I am lame non stop I am going to be in deep trouble.

This means, if I go sound for a bit (not difficult as with all the nice Danill-meals I'm getting there is very little discomfort anyway, you see), then lame for a bit, then sound again, I am buying myself a lot of time on this lovely yard with my dear buddies and the pampering services here are second to none.

So there you go guys, I've got it all sorted in me little head. I am no silly horse.

I am still lame in trot. Lame as a duck Wiola says. [Enter ears back here - I am a 6 year old Irish Sports Horse thank you, not a d u c k].

I forgive this bad language as Aunty Wiola took me for a very nice ride on Friday. Did I mention I like hacking? So I do. I know Wiola gets bored with hacking but frankly, I don't care. Neither do I give a damn about her riding career and all that nonsense. She told me that if I would only go sound to be a hacking horse I could be replaced with a competition horse.

Now, please tell me I am wrong but - I like it here. I don't want to be replaced by any freaking show horse that is afraid of a body brush and shows the whites in his eyes when approached with a slightly differently shaped feed bowl.

You are with me guys aren't you? I think Wiola might as well get used to a career in walk hacking. Surely there is one such? That is what I like doing anyway. And Mummy would always agree with me so that's that.

A few photos of me below. Just for the record, I *did* say they are all almost identical and there is no point having them all here. I wasn't listened to.

See, she likes hacking really ;)

Speak soon,

Kingsley

xxx

Ok, so Academy's website is LIVE...

http://www.aspire-equestrian.com/

Please let me know what you think! If you spot any mistakes or broken links do drop me a message or leave a comment - it will be really helpful :)

I am taking this opportunity to thank everybody involved in taking the idea of the Academy from dreamy and unrealistic to something doable and hopefully useful to many riders out there.

You know that quote: "If you can dream it, you can do it..."? Well, the thing is it was said by Walt Disney...you can make anything possible in a Hollywood film. In real life you need enormous amount of patience, hard work, long hours, impossibly long hours in fact and most of all a lot of help from people who believe in you and your idea.

Thank you to my wonderful man for creating the super website despite my total inability to submit material in correct formats and to all who made it possible - you know who you are :) X