The closer I get to the Academy going live the more I ask myself, where do I go from here...I've received some very good feedback from all I shared the drafts of the Programmes with and I'm both anxious and excited at the thought of bringing it all to life and spreading the word. It will take a long time to make it into what I see in my head it could be but I think I'm ready for it.
Should all go according to the plan it would mean I will have my teaching plans and ambitions sorted for the next few years. However, for the next 12 months, it all boils down to one very important issue :
Do I acknowledge it's just too much to try to significantly improve my riding, train & compete AND earn my living in the same time or do I find a way to do both...
You might as well grab a coffee/water/juice or a stronger liquid if you are going to read on - ramble warning.
THE SITUATION
A.
I'm very aware that my location and the fact I rely on public transport to take me places, work against many opportunities I could otherwise utilise. It would be pointless to complain and moan about it as in many ways it's a choice I've made. Living in London is something of an ongoing dilemma for me: on one hand it lets me feel less of an outsider and I feel happy here, on the other hand it makes many potentially beneficial changes impossible. I'd like to stay and yet I'd love to move...
Although many car drivers keep persuading me I absolutely need a car, the truth is, having one in London is a very expensive alternative to public transport. Not to mention you have to allow for actually buying the machine, paying tax, MOTs, any work done to it, insurance (did I miss something?).
In summary, I'm somewhat trapped in a self-made simple maze.
B.
Up until Kingsley's lameness/unsoundness issues I still believed I can somehow slowly climb towards being able to train properly again. The plan for Kingsley was to sell him on very quickly and buy a slightly better model and so on, educating both me and Kingsley's owner in the process, so at some point we could be ready to share a nice competition horse(s) and have fun with competing them. As some of you who read this blog regularly will know, this is now out of question.
In the last few months I started to realise that for the first time ever I actually subconsciously gave up on trying to keep up my own riding education. Not because I lost the desire to become a better rider, but for I came to sad realisation that perhaps it all happens one dream at a time...
I've spent the last few years focusing on training my eye for riders' problems/issues and on how to help them overcome those.
As I have never had any intention to ride other people's horses for money, the teaching is what pays my bills. Unless you can charge £50+ for lessons and you give them a lot, you have to simply just do the latter - work a lot. This leaves you with very little, or no time, for your own riding. Bills paid or pleasure from improving...not much of a choice.
C.
Perhaps there are riders out there who are managing teaching and competing just fine with no "support team -at-home" (loosely understood as Mum or Dad, horsey partner or a helpful Aunt;) but I find it impossible. I can't see how I could deal by myself with having a horse(s) on a D.I.Y. livery (only type I could potentially afford), have the time to ride it, have lessons on, compete it AND continue with amount of teaching I would need to do to cover the costs...Perhaps there is a solution I overlooked?
If I had my family over here I would go for it but again, it is one of those things one can say to me 'It was your own choice'. As I can't argue with that neither can I complain. Just stating the fact.
D.
I'm not a happy-hacker or joyrider. When talking about riding here I mean everyday training and building a relationship with a horse. This for me is what the whole sport is about. It takes time, determination, commitment and consistency.
Seeing riding this way means that schooling random horses at random occasions doesn't feel like fulfilling any ambitions or having much fun. Of course every horse teaches you something new and in many ways it's enjoyable but it's not the same. The core is missing...
Not to mention I like to train to compete.
THE DILEMMA
Considering the above I see 3 options to chose from but it's any one's guess what would be the best one?!
Option 1: Agree to Disagree and Get On With Life As It Is
It is very unlikely for my situation to change anytime soon which is why I need to come up with a plan that reduces my low feeling due to no training and let's me happily focus on the teaching part of my job.
There will hopefully be some opportunities in time that let me ride properly again but right now I think it's better not to be deluded and cease dwelling on things that just aren't to be.
I think (hope) I'm passionate enough about training others for it to drive me and provide me with overall job satisfaction.
Basically this option would essentially be aimed at improving the financial situation, be more business minded than dreams driven and create better foundations for future plans.
Pluses:
Going with this option would mean to stop wasting time on looking for riding opportunities, focus on saving money to buy some wheels and be more mobile and independent.
Sensible...
Time to focus on developing the Academy and its services.
Be home before 9pm and have energy for life outside the Horse World
I'm better when I can direct my focus on one thing rather than many so potential result could mean more quality to my work.
Arrange for a day off now and then to recharge the batteries.
Minuses:
Being restricted to teaching at the level I teach now as I don't believe in teaching above trainer's own knowledge + experience.
Staying still in terms of my own riding skills.
Temporarily giving up on what is the essence of this sport to me: riding to train/training to compete.
Deal with all the low days (possibly many) when I feel like I'm wasting the time in life when I'm reasonably able and healthy and could be taking my riding up a level instead...
I would see it as defeat no matter how much self-talk I would give to myself...
Terribly missing proper riding??
Option 2: Go For Training
Once the Academy is up and running, I could sort out the logistics of it so I only take certain, small amount of work myself. Focus on promoting Academy's website to be able to sell advertising space and gain a few pennies this way. Find a placement on a dressage or event yard where I could keep a horse (loan?), train, compete. Continue working 7 days a week, 2 days of teaching plus 5 days training with some additional teaching as and when necessary.
Pluses:
Doing what I see as the most important thing in this industry: improving own riding skills so I can teach better
Training whilst my body still copes with it, especially my knee which I am sure has a sell by date on it and it's not a long shelf-life product...
Feeling I am doing what I should be doing to continue to improve as a coach/instructor/rider
Chasing my dream to compete for my country (no, not Olympics mind you but some International competitions would be a dream come true).
Minuses:
Finances - verging on impossible
Working hours - a 7 day a week is a killer as I am experiencing now
Leaving some of my fabulous clients as wouldn't have the time to teach them
Possibly having to stay away from home few days at a time most weeks (big minus!!)
If not staying away then very early and very likely lengthy commute to a training yard (my long commutes are already a killer)
Option 3: Find A Way To Balance It All
As I'm ambitious and believe in things impossible this is My sort of option ;) It comes with plenty of significant buts though...
If I go for this one I will need to rob a bank, buy a car and have enough to run it, find a place for Kingsley to be turned away for a year or so to come back to soundness (or not-difficult to say how his conditions will develop with time), find a horse with potential AND good temperament so Pauline and I can both ride it, find another, more advance horse to loan/ride for someone that I can take for lessons and learn on. Possibly find a place to move to near a yard I can use as a base and try to attract as many riders to that base (as oppose to travelling to yards so much).
Arrange for a day off now and then.
Focus on promoting Academy and developing it both through good quality service and via (hopefully!) decent competition record (own and trained riders).
Pluses:
Best of two worlds, I get to focus on Academy for part of the day while also making time for training.
Working on my own riding skills while doing what I am passionate about i.e. delivering quality rider training
Balancing things out always makes me feel happier and this option would be a dream come true.
Living the life as I would love it to be.
Being able to give my best as could rest now and then plus the thought of doing things my preferred way always inspires and motivates me to get better.
Keeping finances healthy while developing myself as a rider.
Minuses:
Least realistic of the 3 options.
Very difficult to implement into real life. Little idea/limited opportunities as to where to start to make it happen.
THE SOLUTION
??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
Advice and ideas greatly appreciated! What would you do? Are there other potential options out there I fail to see?
P.S. Do you believe in horses experiencing melancholy? If this emotion ever does enter equine state of mind, Kingsley was well and truly melancholic today! It's the only way I could describe his mellow, a bit absent yet very obliging behaviour, cuddly yet distant, listening yet switched off.
7 comments
Wow Wiola, you really do have some big decisions to make! I can sort of imagine how you feel, as I too believe that riding is about forming a bond with the horse, and training to compete to not only reward yourself but also the horse (I'm sure they love showing off in front of the judges!), and I also would love to become a trainer and pass on my knowledge to other riders.
It sounds like you are really passionate about your riding and it plays a big part in your dreams and goals. Therefore, I doubt you would be happy in a situation where you didn't get to ride. I think you would get so fustrated helping others all the time and never being able to help yourself. Also, I find that it is more ueful to have a trainer who also rides/trains/competes regularly. They can relate better, are ready to sit on a horse if needed (no stiffness or 'Oo! Havn't ridden in a while!'), and can give a helping hand in the competition side of things (maybe compete the horse for the student a couple of times for training purposes?).
I understand, however, that it is difficult to own your own horse in your situation. The ideal scenario is to find an owner who is willing to give you their horse to train and compete, while they take care of the livery bill. Perhaps you have (or will have, hopefully through the Academy) a really loyal client who will do this.
Otherwise I don't know what the solution is. Maybe just keep teaching and focus on the Academy and structure it so it suits you and put others in charge of most things, while you oversee it all. This will give you more time, and the Academy will bring in the money as well as your teaching.
Good luck, look forward to hearing which direction you head towards!
And to answer your question, yes I do think horses can be melancholy! My pony can get into a mood quite often, and he is pleasurable enough but seems distant and uninterested. I find an energetic ride/gallop or time out in the field fixes it.
Hello Casey, thank you for your comment, it's good to put it all in writing, makes it more tangible...
Yes, the points you mention are exactly the ones that stop me from giving up on the riding part completely. I know I would end up feeling quite low.
Lots of thinking and planning in the next couple of weeks will hopefully make it all a bit clearer.
I do have a support of fabulous client and a friend of mine ( who owns Kingsley) but I feel it would be unfair if she just bought a horse for me to ride. I also really want her to have something to learn on hence the idea of sharing a project horse. If we manage to figure out what to with Kingsley (he has long term unsoudness issues) then we can think of searching for a horse again.
I hope to have some big enlightment soon!
The third option seems best to me. You are wasting time and energy traveling all over. You will have a stronger word-of-mouth following if you are in one place more. If you are serious about your future then set Kingsley's future aside, as a separate issue. He is dragging you down. Long term turn out might do the trick but it is unlikely he will ever be up to hard competing.
Other ideas include looking for a rich husband, but I never learned how that works myself:)
I have been thinking about you, so here I am again. Did you consider that Kingsley had a bout of Azoturia, that left him with the symptoms you describe?
On thoughts for the future:
If you don't get into competition riding now, it will be too late and it sounds as though that is a passion that you should at least try to fulfill or risk regrets for the rest of your life. The Academy and all the rest can wait and will be strengthened by your increased knowledge and industry contacts and credibility. Get yourself hired onto a good competition yard or a yard bringing horses on for sale. You need multiple horses and you can't do that alone. Full time employment in one place with a promise that you will compete regularly. You are going to be earning chicken-feed but that is life within the horse world. Give it your best shot for a year or two. Teach privately, outside work hours if you have any energy or time left over. Your teaching skills won't atrophy like your riding skills if you don't use them.
Good Luck, whatever you choose.
Hey Wiola,
I too am having horse/life/work dilemmas. I know how you feel. You have aspirations and ambitions and just don't know how or have the funding to fulfil them all. I think it is really important to decide what is your biggest ambition and where your heart feels happiest.
If it is the riding and training element, I would say go for it sooner rather than later. I am SURE you do not have to be teaching all hours too. That is just silly and you will run yourself into the ground and make yourself poorly.
Go *crazy* putting the word out for a horse to ride. Really brag about what you want to achieve and that you are actively looking for a potential horse to a) compete and either same one or another one to b) bring on/have as a project. Make it plain that you want to ride/train/compete to raise your profile and that you CAN make a difference with this potential horse(s).
Location is EVERYTHING. I think this is a decision that you and your partner would have to make and you have to be forward thinking with regards to this. My fella and I have just bought a house in a little village and rent a big paddock with it. Not much at all but a start and it puts me in the area I want to work in. Close to family and friends too. Premises is my next goal - that's if I ever get any more clients!
Also, please keep going with your Aspire project. It sounds brilliant.
Best wishes from Jodi :-)
Thank you English Rider and Jodi to share your views. I must say I haven't considered limiting myself to one yard right now but something happened at work today and I will definitely be re-thinking this option. I can undertsand the point of being able to do more when not having to waste time on commuting but there is a lot of benefits of teaching at different yards. I've learnt a lot from that and it's refreshing not to be stuck at one place all the time.
However, as I said, definitely worth proper re-considering. I do want to have my own proper base in a couple of years time but who knows, perhaps I should go for it sooner.
Now, working as a rider...
I've done this before for a few years and although it was a great experience and I rode masses of horses I don't think I would want to do it again. I'm 31 and perhaps it's the age and perhaps I am less happy to sacrifice my health and well-being for my career anymore. The pay is VERY, VERY low for this sort of work and I am not prepared to go that low.
On paper, and should a decent position of a rider turned up, I wouldn't say no. Unfortunately, unless you already have a competition experience at at least Medium level, most jobs of this sort are slavery. Sad but true.
If I was on my own and could live-in it would be doable, virtually impossible if you have rent and bills to pay.
I'm keeping eye on a few sites though just in case I'm wrong and something totally suitable comes up.
One thing English Rider said is definitely true - I can't afford NOT to ride and develop myself as it's just such an intrinsic part of being a good coach that I would never do without it (well, not until I'm damn old and can't ride anymore).
Jodi - your're right, you never know, I might start sending some emails for a horse ;) As to location and house buying...well, that's financially out of question for another 20 years, unless we win Lottery.
I wish I knew someone who is truly trying to do a smililar thing by themselves so they can pass me a few tips! Everybody I know, even if they are struggling, have a family member or a partner helping so the work load is more manageable.
Right, it's all just thinking aloud. There will be a solution coming out of hiding for sure.
P.S. Kingsley - hmm Azoturia, not sure. He has navicular disease confirmed by X-rays so he's never going to be what we wanted him to be. His future needs deciding too.
Everyone says ride, but I say your business plan is brilliant and unique. Concentrate on that and then the rides will come. If you must be operating in multiple places (not a bad idea - your business can grow like an octopus - tentacles everywhere!) I would look to getting a car. I know London is a PITA but as a professional business women you may find that you need the flexibility and reliability of a car in the long run. When and if you get a car, if it is too much you can always sell it (easily, unlike a horse).
I love reading about your journey - good luck!
Post a Comment