The thing with writing a blog, this blog, is that what I am really doing is summarising a day, a few days or a week, depending on how often I've been writing.
The thing with summarising is that you see everything in black and white, or maybe rather, you have to re-saturate it until you get just these two tones - and sometimes it might not be what I like to see at all.
I don't like to think I haven't done much of what I wish to be doing. Even more, I don't like to see this written and sounding like some boring chapter in which the main character is constantly feeling sorry for herself and indulges in some form of never-ending self-pity.
There is one thing I wholeheartedly believe and that helps me every time without fail...it's the faith in a ridicule of life. It makes me smile. It makes me see myself and my problems from a distance. It helps me to get on with things while in the same time my mind is not getting on with anything at all.
When you keep going, keep working and keep the wheel of cheer turning there is no time for reflection, summarising and thinking.
When you sit to write things down all of these three descend upon you like some unwelcome blessing and all you want to write is nothing at all.
Maybe it's the turn of the seasons. Maybe it's the same nomadic streak that made me move away from home. Maybe it's something else entirely. Either way, it makes me feel a little restless and yet incredibly tired. Driven to do things and yet resigned.
There are some problems that keep me awake at night. Not much I can do about them. It's not the greatest of times but I guess nobody has their life shining on them 365 days of the year.
I am ever so grateful for all the support I get from some fantastic people. Ever so.
Little Kingsley, a pet as he might now be, has so quickly become such a big part of my days. I like coming to work and seeing him munching his hay in the morning. He pops his head out from time to time when I enter the stables in between my lessons or to grab some horses out as if he was laughing at me or checking on me or both.
I finish my day plastering the electrodes onto his bottom and giving him a good groom and it's somewhat calming and peaceful.
For now, it's time for a Boring Chapter in this book. One that you tend to skim read or turn a few pages forward until you get to more interesting parts. Bare with me. This book writes itself as we go.
P.S. One year today a very good friend of mine lost someone very close to her. My thoughts and hugs go to you xxx