Monday, 22 June 2009

Little Things - Big Thoughts

If hobbies were defined only as things we do for pleasure in our spare time then sleeping would be very high on my list. It was just fab to wake up at my normal getting up time and not actually have to get up, feel no pain and to just sweetly go back to sleep.
We had a lovely breakfast of fresh fruit and warm croissants and I set off to see my dentist. 
You know, I have always been after 'do what makes you happy' type of life and will always be but boy does reality slams you in the face sometimes. When I heard how much the fixing of my tooth will cost me I almost fell off the chair.  
This takes us to the title of this post. Those little things and events makes you look at the grand picture and wonder how ill constructed the world is. 

I am not going to be very creative by saying I really hate the way money rules so many aspects of our lives. I may think I won, doing what I love doing, refusing to subscribe to structured scenario of climbing the steps of career in Proper Jobs. I may think I escaped the rat race, the material possessions race, the vanity race.
But then I wake up and get a call from life that says: you know what, all is well when all is well but if you get into trouble you won't even know what had hit you. 
My thinking always has been that if you can use your brain, if you are good at what you are doing and if you know where you going you will be just fine. But is that so? 

Little Things. Big Thoughts. 
My biggest fear is a situation where I would have to give it all up and go for some totally unsuitable for me a job that would allow me to afford to eat, live under the roof and stay healthy. That would be the biggest failure I can imagine. 

And because I can't allow for that failure to happen I am having a serious Think Tank moments trying to decide on the best way forward. 
I am very aware that to be as good a trainer/coach/instructor as I want to be I actually have to decrease the amount of teaching I do for a while and focus on my own training as a rider. This is very, very tricky as it's the teaching that pays the bills...
I am thinking through various options though and will share my thoughts soon. After my Intermediate Teaching exam. 


Anonymous said...

Difficult indeed - keep us posted on what your thinking is and what you decide.

S. Lauren said...

I really agree with you on the sleep! That would be at the top of my list too. I sometimes find myself thinking similar ideas, but instead of thinking of what your ultimate failure would be, why not your ultimate goal? I really admire you for being a riding instructor. I have taught lessons and worked hard at a barn before where the people there just seemed to drain the passion out of horseback riding, also trainers that seem to be money leeches. It is great that you love what you're doing and want to further educate yourself - that alone is a great accomplishment I wish some of the trainers I knew had.

Patricia said...

I struggle with that as well. As a riding instructor, I need to update my skills and stay current in my riding to sharpen my tools when it comes to teaching. Unfortunately, I am not a free lance instructor and make $12 out of every $60 private, one hour lesson I give. Although the expense of lessons is certainly justified, sometimes my riding is last on the things to pay for: board, hay, grain, rent, car expenses, tuition, insurance, groceries... these things have to paid in full. If I have enough discretionary income leftover, I attend lessons and clinics and take my horse to a few shows. These days it seems like my discretionary income is getting smaller and smaller...

I look forward to your insight on this matter. I'm curious to see how other instructors balance their own riding aspirations with those of their students. In the meantime, good luck on your exam!

Unknown said...

Kate - it's quite a challenge indeed, I will be sharing my further steps so we'll just have to live and see whether they wull be right or wrong.

S.Lauren - thank you. And yes, you are right, got to think positive, it's just sometimes the negative thoughts creep in! I do have an ultimate goal but at the very hard times the fear of ultimate failure seem to keep me going, if that makes sense.

Particia - tell me about it! I wish I had a magic fairy doing my shopping and paying my bills. Dream on. I'm not sure if I have any super valuable insight or ultimate solution coming but I will certainly share my choices when the time comes to make them and see how it goes.

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