post For My Grandmother

I spoke to my Grandmother today. She's not that well at all and thinking about her reminds me how amazingly cruel life can be. We are given the chance to be surrounded by people who mean the world to us. We are given moments of absolute love which gives us infinite feeling of security, of being invincible, powerful and above the law of living.

We are given those only to have it all taken away. 

My Gran has always been the most loving, unselfish person I have ever met.

She is a worrier. If she misses my call she will be calling me back every five minutes until I can pick it up. She would say she felt bad for not being there when I phoned, even if it was something totally unimportant. 

If I close my eyes I can picture her sitting in her chair in the living room, smiling and asking what would I like to eat. And you know what, if I said I want some exotic food platter she never even heard about I bet she would still somehow tried to arrange for it. 

She never asks too many questions but when you go and sit with her for a while, even in complete silence, you still feel like it was the best conversation you have ever had. You don't meet many people like that in your lifetime...

I once said to someone that when Gran goes she will take a massive chunk of me with her.  I was told that it won't be the case and that instead she will always be with me.  How good would that be.

Don't you think that having something wonderful and losing it hurts way more than never having it in the first place?